Something in my eye – temporarily removed

london-959482_960_720This story has temporarily fallen into the cracks between words. It might come back….

Or, you never know, it might pop up somewhere else.

Watch this space.

 


Author’s notes

I wrote the first version of this story a year ago. There was something pleasing about that initial effort, but it was a bit of an uninflated balloon of a story – there was room for a lot more in the middle. I tinkered with it, and then ended up leaving it partially finished in a folder. Wanting something for February, I came back to it – and remembered that I rather liked it. Suddenly, the middle section seemed to come together, and here you see something a lot more substantial. It just goes to show – never throw anything away…

© Kat Day 2017

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7 thoughts on “Something in my eye – temporarily removed

  1. Hi Kat,
    Superb! I love the “like blood on a cobweb” image, interesting too as a clean cobweb can be used to dress a wound, well, a fairly small one anyway. Also “The soup of voices has no anxious flavours” excellent simile ( Do I mean simile? ) conjures up a perfect image of the people in a confined space.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks! Those were my two favourite bits, too! I wanted to hint at something creepy with the cobweb, but then move past it. Did the ending surprise you? My witch does like her nature similes. I think she’d get a little exhausting after a while, if I stayed in her head much longer. But I have a sense this could be a sort of prologue for Rowan’s story. What do you think?

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      1. The ending was one of the scenarios I was thinking of, and was quite pleased that I was right 🙂 I think it was because you brought to attention her oddness of being with Graham and yet not being with him.
        I was thinking as I read that you could use this as a basis for looking forward into Rowan’s future and into the Witch’s past, both of which seem promising. I would say I would like to know more about the past as you already intimate that she has done things…. However, Rowan will be able to do anything! Sorry, not a lot of help there. I would be quite happy whichever way you go.
        .

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  2. Ha, yes, maybe back in time would be more fun! I’m not sure I can write anything longer in first-person present tense though. But then… first person past-tense might make more sense anyway. It could be her diaries/reports…. like Doctor Watson.

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  3. Another thought on a diaries sort of story is you can also add real life snippets in or reference previous stories as if the protagonists are running in the same time frame. Perhaps to bring them together in a grand denouement in the end of book ‘n’. Obviously, you will have to give up the day job and write frantically…. Still and all, I think you could do it. I just wish I was creative , and not just a critic.

    Liked by 1 person

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